This whole month has just been bad. There’s no other word to describe it. It’s been full of tears, heartache, and sorrow. I’m trying so hard to be the person you wanted me to be. I’m trying so hard to live up to the family name. I’m trying to be happy. And I’m trying not to be the person I was a few years back. As I’m nearing my graduation it just gets harder and harder to keep moving. I’m excited for it though. I really am. But the constant reminder that you aren’t going to be there is haunting me. I’ve always dreamed of that moment. That moment where I’m sitting in the crowd of kids just like me, and I look up to the stands to see the look on your face. It would be small, and difficult to find in the sea of the proud parents, but it would be there, smiling down at me. And I would know that it’d be the proudest you’ve ever been of me. The fact that I won’t get that, that the dream has been robbed from me, infuriates me. And I don’t know what to do about it. I’m just trying to keep moving forward even if I don’t want to; because I know you would want me to.
